The un-favorite child

     I know this topic seems a bit off course for Zombified Times but I thought that I might pen out this due to recent topics in the news about parental favoritism.  Let me give you a small picture of my childhood family.  Nuclear to the core, mother, father sister and me.  I am the oldest with a sister who is nine years younger. So naturally we didn't have a whole lot in common age wise.  Lets look at me, as usual it is always about me, as my mom would tell me.  I grew up normal, very little intervention from my parents except when I got in trouble for something.  My mother had a bit of a temper so when ever I became a bit resistant to a situation she would grab me by my arm and yell those typical, wait till your father gets home statements.  I did spend a lot of time grounded.  I honestly never felt to connected to my parents, except my dad and that was more of a worship on my part than anything.

     I was offered a lot of opportunities like I took up violin in 1st grade and stayed with it till I was in 9th grade, then I wanted to be a rock star and got a guitar.  My parents supported me playing the violin with lessons but not with the guitar, to this day I wish I had gotten some lessons 'cause man I really suck at the guitar.  I was also given the opportunity to become a competitive swimmer.  Joined a private swim league through the YMCA and did that through high school, setting several league records and NYS championship records.  I do not remember my parents ever coming to any of my school meets or NYS championships.  They did however help out the YMCA swim team, note my little sister also swam for the YMCA during that time, although they did attend the meets and championships before that.  I played softball/baseball for Kodak, no one came to any of those games, soccer either, maybe a few, don't remember.  Played that from 6th grade to 9th grade on a private league.  I spent a lot of my free time volunteering at the YMCA working with other youth and even earned Youth of the Year for my volunteer work with the YMCA.  This all led to after school work and summer work with the YMCA

    School wise I was just an average student, got by, did good in what I liked and did ok in everything else.  I attended one school for 8th grade while I waited to start 9th grade at a trade school I wanted to attend since 4th grade.  Life got really crappy in 8th grade.  I was picked on constantly, in fights, got jumped walking home one day, just all around sucked.  I did ok grade wise accept one teacher who had a problem getting grade to people or telling us what we did wrong or right, but dad went down and fixed him, and sadly enough I passed all my classes except the final exam for English, which caused me to fail the class.  I had an A in the class all year but the final was a Regents exam and you can only pass if you pass the exam.  That was when I realized NY Regents was criminal and needed to be changed.  Went to summer school and again had an A for the class and failed the final, failed the class. Reason being simple..we never read any of the material required for the exam, like Red Pony, To Kill a Mockingbird etc...bastards.  High School...much better except 11th grade.  That is when I found out or at least was told by my parents they could not get financial aid for me to attend Rochester Institute of Tech or SUNY Environmental Science and Forestry (ESF) at Syracuse University.  With no alternative I did what I thought would make my father proud and joined the Navy.  Came back from boot camp to finish 12th grade but the school was was giving me grief by giving me a class in the middle of the day, I was attending to finish that English class from 8th grade.  I had no other classes and I had picked up a job.  I fought with the school district and just dropped out of high school over it.  I had already taken a GED test in the Navy so technically I had my high school diploma.  Later on in life I finally got to attend college on my own dime, and the Navy's and found out the Rochester City School District awarded me a HSD anyway....bastards.

    Let's paint my picture of my sister, she was born in 76 and it was difficult for my parents to have her but she finally came along after a few attempts.  She was a model student all through school, involved in theater, swimming, she played violin and was allowed to drop that and take up piano, our parents our purchased her a piano, to defend my parents they did buy me an acoustic guitar, I saved and bought my own electric guitar, and they got her piano lessons.  Oh yeah I did take up flute for 2 years, that one was awful.  Parents do not let your sons play flute.  Like I mentioned they attended our swimming meets at the YMCA, I do not know if they attended her rec swim club meets.  My little sis was very opinionated and spoke her mind often.  Her and I did not get along like most siblings but we really had nothing in common.  As she got older she did some volunteer work at the Y but not nearly as much as I did, years wise I started volunteering around age 11 till 16 about 20 hours a week during school and 40 hours a week during summers.  She was very involved with school, I just did sports and year book.

   It is much easier to speak of myself than of someone else since we were not that close but as I got older I started to see the differences or separations.  I look back now and wondered why some things happen.  My sister went to college right from high school.  My parents payed a little and helped her a little while there, then it dawned on me, they went with her to look at colleges....that was never even offered to go visit ESF or any other college option.  Oh well.  Wait they payed for some of college?  That was not even offered or and option to me.  Of course once grad school hit she was completely on her own.  In her defense I met my now wife when I was 18 and and we were married when I was 20, and more or less was in and out of their house between 17 and 19.  Now my parents did help out with money occasionally with things like when our oldest son needed crowns as a child and with auto repairs, all when we first were starting out due to lack of insurance or well paying jobs.

    I had always felt that she was their favorite and really in never bothered me till a few months ago when my sisters said something to the effect that our parents were so disappointed in me for failing school....WHAT?  Ok technically I failed a class, but only based on one exam, in a system that fail to recognize all the other work put in to have an A average.  Then I started looking at other things like why when I was in the Navy did my father not help me get into the Navy Seabees when I wanted to and I had to really work to get in there.  My mother told me it was due to him being embarrassed or ashamed of me. Now mind you he has never said that to me but he is a man of very few words and well I worshiped him.  Theses are just a few tip offs I had, I am sure there were others that I choose to ignore.  I know some are wondering why the hell did you write this well it was something on my mind, and the research about Favorite Children, honestly the researchers say it is real and it is bad, some say it is good.  Let me tell you this, it is what made me what I am today.  I have a wonderful family of my own, two sons, one teen and one 20+.  A beautiful wife of 20+ years, who I can not imagine life with out.  I have a job, something I am great-full for.  I have a wonderful grand-daughter.  I have lived the American dream, I have the volunteer work that I do and really enjoy.  I have Zombified Times and the Zombified Times Radio, which we are still working on.  I am free to speak my mind and free to not give a damn about what others think.  I love my parents and my sister but expect nothing from either, we all have our own lives and although they may not agree with my views or my beliefs, they can only blame themselves for teaching me to be the person that I am.

Balsa-
Editor -Zombified Times